When a young man felt that he was ready for a marriage,
he would go to his father’s hut (thingira) and would tell him that he was ready
for marriage and would mention the names of the girls he was interested in. The
father would also add the names of two other girls who were from families with
good reputations.
The father would request a friend of his, to accompany
him to consult a witchdoctor.(mundu mugo)they would each take two sticks each
representing a girl and break them, the longest sticks would be the lucky girls.
The father would instruct the son to go
and propose to one of them.
The young man would go to the home of the girl he
prefers, accompanied by a male friend, an age mate, in the evening hours. They
would go to the mother’s house. If the mother was indoors she would leave them
and go to the house of the co-wife or the husbands hut until the young men
would leave.
The young men would be served with food and drink. After
eating they would tell the girl that they had come to look for all time porridge
(Ucuru wa hingo ciothe). The girl would immediately know that they were
proposing. She would tell them to come for the answer later to give her time to
think. The girl would inform her mother who would tell the husband. If the father
(husband) accepts the young he would inform the mother who would inform the
daughter but they would never discuss the issue again until the young man
returns. On return if the girl loves the man she would accept the proposal and
she would tell young man to go seek her father’s permission. If the father does
not accept the young he would send someone to tell him that there is no millet
in his household. He would know that he has been rejected and he would go
propose in another house hold
If he is accepted he would go inform his father. Then
they would prepare beer (njohi ya njurio), njahi, millet and porridge. Then
someone would be sent to invite the bride’s father to come and drink who would
come the following morning, together with family and friends. They would go to
the hut where they would be served but four men would go to the main hut where
a portion of beer would be taken. The bride’s father would be informed that the
beer was prepared for him. He would ask why and he would be answered “it’s a
sheep among your herd that our son wants and we have prepared the beer to hear
what you have to say” (Ni kamwati ka ruru ruaku gakwendwo ni mwanake witu na
nikio tukuhuriire gacohi gaka tuigue uria ukuuga)
He does not touch
the beer, rather, he requests to be given time to consult before he responds. When
he goes back home he informs the daughter why he had been invited, he asks the
daughter “should I go ahead and accept the beer?” the daughter answers “if you
find it well take the beer for you have all the authority” (Ungiona ari wega
minyue ni undu ndingihota kwiyatha) this means that she has accepted but if the
father finds that it is not right, for her to marry the young man, she is ready
to change her mind because she respects the father.
The young man revisits the home again. The bride’s father
tells him to go tell his father to prepare the beer once again. That’s the beer
he takes together with family and friends. After this if the man does not want
the dowry payment to start immediately the other family continues to prepare
beer until he is ready for payments.
Once the bride’s father is ready for dowry payments he
sends a message to the young man’s family to prepare beer made of honey. He takes
it together with family and friends. He then gives the go ahead for dowry
payments.
