THE KIKUYU CUSTOMS ON MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

When a young man felt that he was ready for a marriage, he would go to his father’s hut (thingira) and would tell him that he was ready for marriage and would mention the names of the girls he was interested in. The father would also add the names of two other girls who were from families with good reputations.

The father would request a friend of his, to accompany him to consult a witchdoctor.(mundu mugo)they would each take two sticks each representing a girl and break them, the longest sticks would be the lucky girls.  The father would instruct the son to go and propose to one of them.

The young man would go to the home of the girl he prefers, accompanied by a male friend, an age mate, in the evening hours. They would go to the mother’s house. If the mother was indoors she would leave them and go to the house of the co-wife or the husbands hut until the young men would leave.

The young men would be served with food and drink. After eating they would tell the girl that they had come to look for all time porridge (Ucuru wa hingo ciothe). The girl would immediately know that they were proposing. She would tell them to come for the answer later to give her time to think. The girl would inform her mother who would tell the husband. If the father (husband) accepts the young he would inform the mother who would inform the daughter but they would never discuss the issue again until the young man returns. On return if the girl loves the man she would accept the proposal and she would tell young man to go seek her father’s permission. If the father does not accept the young he would send someone to tell him that there is no millet in his household. He would know that he has been rejected and he would go propose in another house hold

If he is accepted he would go inform his father. Then they would prepare beer (njohi ya njurio), njahi, millet and porridge. Then someone would be sent to invite the bride’s father to come and drink who would come the following morning, together with family and friends. They would go to the hut where they would be served but four men would go to the main hut where a portion of beer would be taken. The bride’s father would be informed that the beer was prepared for him. He would ask why and he would be answered “it’s a sheep among your herd that our son wants and we have prepared the beer to hear what you have to say” (Ni kamwati ka ruru ruaku gakwendwo ni mwanake witu na nikio tukuhuriire gacohi gaka tuigue uria ukuuga)

 He does not touch the beer, rather, he requests to be given time to consult before he responds. When he goes back home he informs the daughter why he had been invited, he asks the daughter “should I go ahead and accept the beer?” the daughter answers “if you find it well take the beer for you have all the authority” (Ungiona ari wega minyue ni undu ndingihota kwiyatha) this means that she has accepted but if the father finds that it is not right, for her to marry the young man, she is ready to change her mind because she respects the father.

The young man revisits the home again. The bride’s father tells him to go tell his father to prepare the beer once again. That’s the beer he takes together with family and friends. After this if the man does not want the dowry payment to start immediately the other family continues to prepare beer until he is ready for payments.

Once the bride’s father is ready for dowry payments he sends a message to the young man’s family to prepare beer made of honey. He takes it together with family and friends. He then gives the go ahead for dowry payments.